Nurture and Admonition of the Lord

Ephesians 6:1-4
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.  Honour thy father and mother that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.


David O. McKay said, "Example is the best and most effective way of teaching.  We can set a proper example also by speaking well of others.  The Lord has admonished us not to engage in backbiting.  Another worthy example is exercising self-control, controling our temper by not speaking angrily in the home.  Let calmness be characteristic of our home life".


Early in our marriage when we had a couple of children, we struggled to know how to discipline our kids.  We attended a fireside where the speaker was a credentialed family counselor.  We were soaking up every word she said until someone asked her how many kids she had.  She admitted she had none.  I at least totally lost interest in what she was saying after that.


Now many years later Mom and I have had our trials in trying to teach and train children.  I at least have made a lot of mistakes.  One of those mistakes was that I spanked my children for which I regret greatly.  There may be a RARE instance when you need to spank your children, but it should be very rare.  Let me encourage you with these thoughts from my vantage point of experience.


Provoke means "to arouse to a feeling", "to stir up purposely".  I don't think any of you fathers would purposely seek to arouse feelings of anger in your children.  But you might be doing it unintentionally. 

• Elder Robbins, April 2011 conference:  "When your children misbehave, we must be careful not to say things that would cause them to believe that what they did wrong is who they are." "We need to be careful, therefore, about using permanent phrases such as "You always....." or "You never...." when disciplining.
• I would suggest you state clearly and succinctly what they did that was wrong, how it makes you feel when they disobey and state your expectations in the future emphacising they who they are as a child of God and a member of your family.
• Look for opportunities through the day to recognize things they do as a result of making a good choice and reinforcing it by recognition and praise.

Nurture means "training or upbringing"; Admonition means "gentle or friendly reproof".  To bring up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord I think means to help the child understand the attributes of the Savior by discussing them and helping the child recognize them in his own life.  It also means to help them learn to pray, attend Church and participate.


I am proud of each of you as you try to raise children in an ever increasing wicked world.  We pray for you every day.  
Dad and Mom

Sheila and Jarvis Carter Family

October 2011

Grandpa and Grandma Haws visited the Carter family in Oklahoma for 2 weeks in October 2011.  The occasion was to help Sheila and Jarvis with their family during the time James was having and recovering from an operation.  James had an operation to improve his life by making an opening to his intestines.

While there, I video taped James singing "Praise to the Man" that he memorized in Primary this year. 
James singing.  Here is another one.  James Whistling

We had a wonderful visit.  James is a brave little man and is facing life's challenges with a smile on his face.  We can learn a lot from James.
Here are a few more pictures etc of our visit.  We visited parks, the Science Museum and a garden park downtown Oklahoma. PICTURES